Tuesday, December 8, 2009

13 MANscaping Tips

The philosophy behind manscaping (landscaping of a man's hair) is if you get a haircut for the top of your head, you should consider caring for the rest of your hairy body. If your wife says she doesn't care or notice, she is lying! Never manscape in public (like the gym locker room) and don't think people don't notice your curly, pubic-like, shoulder hair when you wear a tank top. Lastly, the motivation for manscaping is for a woman, not to become one.

  1. Trim your hairy chest, arms and legs. Shaving them is metrosexual, trimming is manscaping
  2. Wax your back, it's gross
  3. Keep armpit hair in your armpit
  4. No one should ever see hair coming out of your nose or ears
  5. If you're going bald, shave it. You're not fooling anyone and Agassi's hair was a wig
  6. Never give yourself a haircut and if no one has ever complimented you after your wife's attempt she must stop too
  7. Shave your neck line between haircut appointments
  8. Uni-brows are still out so pluck and shape but don't over do it Alice.
  9. Eyebrows should have a length limit. How come you don't notice that 2 inch wild hair?
  10. Cut your sideburns parallel to your jaw bone and cut facial hair symmetrically
  11. Don't miss a patch of hair while shaving. We notice the left over stubble under your nose and around your moles
  12. Trimming some areas make objects appear larger than they are!
  13. Knuckle hair shouldn't cover your wedding ring