Gaining Christ

I am blessed. No doubt I have lost more than I wanted but I still have more than most. Even if I lost it all, it would still be a good deal to gain Christ. Since our transition out of vocational ministry we have hung on to Matthew 5:10 that we would be blessed. We have been...

• Kristan and I have stayed connected
• The kids are resilient
• Friends have drawn close for fun, comfort and care
• Family have given us support, food and love
• Kristan is living her dream of a private counseling practice
• Church family has prayed, hugged and given us money
• We have had ministry opportunities to speak and serve
• I have new insight into Scripture, people and myself
• God has given us daily bread
• Our bank account has multiplied like loaves and fish
• Doctors and Businesses have comped their services
• Charlie has a home with my parents
• Brent has given us a home
• I have a job with benefits and free tuition
• I sense God's presence and preparation for what's next

Ultimately I want my life to please Jesus. A quote by Fil Anderson has helped...

"Often, our gift will be found in endless and tireless service, but Jesus reserves the right to suspend our service in order to help us know what our greatest affection is."

Losing it All

My favorite chapter in the Bible is Philippians 3. In verse 8, Paul says...

"I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus, my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish that I may gain Christ."

I have found this to be true, though I have questioned and found it painful. In my recent transition out of vocational ministry it feels I have lost it all.

• the church I pastored
• my career
• some friends
• my credit score
• my house
• district support
• my reputation
• my possessions are in storage
• stability for my kids
• money, lots of it
• my dog can't live with us
• american amenities and luxuries
• position, status, recognition
• privacy, solitude, control of quiet
• my books are in boxes
• platform for ministry
• neighborhood friends, routines, places
• maybe even a portion of my faith

I don't naturally have the proper response: mourn, detach, refocus, anger, depression, paralyzed, cocoon, vengeance, cursing and cussing. I know I am not like Paul yet and far from the quality of Jesus. I lack contentment, peace, love, faith, hope and forgiveness.

It amazes me to think of what Paul lost. In the religious world of the Jews, he had it all: education, position, success, accolades, mission, status. As a Pharisee he was set for life and a 401K to retire on. Paul chose to lose it all for Jesus. Or Jesus chose Paul.