"I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus, my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish that I may gain Christ."
I have found this to be true, though I have questioned and found it painful. In my recent transition out of vocational ministry it feels I have lost it all.
- the church I pastored
- my career
- some friends
- my credit score
- my house
- district support
- my reputation
- my possessions are in storage
- stability for my kids
- money, lots of it
- my dog can't live with us
- american amenities and luxuries
- position, status, recognition
- privacy, solitude, control of quiet
- my books are in boxes
- platform for ministry
- neighborhood friends, routines, places
- maybe even a portion of my faith
I don't naturally have the proper response: mourn, detach, refocus, anger, depression, paralyzed, cocoon, vengeance, cursing and cussing. I know I am not like Paul yet and far from the quality of Jesus. I lack contentment, peace, love, faith, hope and forgiveness.
It amazes me to think of what Paul lost. In the religious world of the Jews, he had it all: education, position, success, accolades, mission, status. As a Pharisee he was set for life and a 401K to retire on. Paul chose to lose it all for Jesus. Or Jesus chose Paul.
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